Teaching a man to be a man

Back to the discussion of manhood.

Some may take my discussions here as sexist. They are not intended to be. Historically the man/husband has been assumed to be responsible for the family. He provided the work to bring home the “bacon.” Sometimes that meant actually butcher the hog and bring home the bacon. He would sign the contracts to purchase the home, car, etc. Society today has changed the role to make equals of husband and wife. I don’t have a problem with that, but I do believe that somebody has to make the final decisions.

Unfortunately, a lot of what is wrong with the family today is the fault of the husband/father. While I don’t have statistical info to back up my claims, I think most people would agree with my assumptions. Most divorces are the result of the wandering eye of the man. Whether it is sexual or career or self-interest, men are more willing to pursue diversionary interests outside of the family.

To wit, the evangelical church has failed to address this issue. There is a class for every group. Infants, pre-schoolers, little kids, pre-teens, teens, college age, women’s groups. And the programs for these groups are intense. We have staff to address kid’s programs. Multiple women’s studies and get togethers. Where is the husband/father at? Maybe a seasonal sporting activity.

What men really need is to be taught how to be men. Too many men these days base their instruction on media representations. Television portrays men as idiots. Perhaps the model as described in the Bible. Actual mentoring. Small groups. One-on-one. A respect for older men that have been through it. Life-seasoned. But the church hardly does this. We wonder why Christian marriages are failing at the same rate as non-religious marriages. Lack of instruction. Lack of respect. Lack of determination to do the hard stuff. Look in your church library at books on how to be a man. The total will probably be less than the number on how to raise children. It will be less than women’s issues.

What are your thoughts?